There I was standing about lying on the floor talking to my self and the dog. The dog was probably more attentive than I was, having taken several hits of LSD that morning. The dog and I, yes the dog too enjoyed the occasional fry. I am not sick, take it back, I never forced it upon him I just put it there on the ground and if he ate it he knew what he was doing, that�s it, okay? He looks up at me and says to me hey, we should go for a walk, so we did. We began walking along the road of dank trees and misfortune. We weren�t afraid, because we knew that when it came for us we would beat it together due to super strength inherited a week earlier by some sort of strange bug Lucky had discovered in the sink. Lucky is the walking fish from Iowa, he moved in to the flat two years ago; the bastard is back on his rent but he doesn�t eat much and he is decent company so we put up with him. He really is a decent guy, I like him, the dog digs him, and the mice love him due to the cat problem. With the fish, the mice, and Lombard the string, the cat gets confused as to what he wants to play with. It is not a big issue, however, considering the fact that the cat weighs 150lbs. We continued walking as confident as a mosquito in May. Along the way we ran into quite a few old friends that we had killed last month during the war between guys named Mike. Up until last week my name was Mike, as was the dog�s. After the war we changed our names to the dog and me, myself, and I, so as to avoid any confrontation by war protesters and bitter leftover Mikes. We stopped and had a nice bowl of dandelion soup with Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, and Mike. Upon finishing our soup we left them to their cribbage game in the dark. We walked for several miles until we saw a very brightly lit area, Seven Eleven, strange that it was there, but we went in, slapped the guy behind the counter and got some smokes, cookies, and water for the cat. We also picked up a candy bar for the fish and some beer for the mice (yes, I neglected to mention, the mice are drunken a-holes). We got the string a bologna sandwich and two baby eels (best fried). For ourselves we picked up a jug of milk, some tea, and honey in case we should encounter it. We began singing songs and sea shanties to pass the time as we walked about down the road to the place where it lived. We could have avoided it but we were feeling rather cocky, so on we did go. Its house was a strange place indeed, there were several large and intimidating beasts just sitting about behind a fence of sorts, these beasts were black and white with blue star shapes on them and numbers on the back with various things that looked like antennae. They had strange bars across the top of them that appeared to be colored red and blue and they had two eyes that were intensely bright and moved about on the side of the head looking at crack heads, graffiti writers and pot head. Suddenly as I stared contemplatively at the beast, it came up from behind, cleared its throat, tapped my shoulder, and said, �What are you fellas up to tonight?� It spoke very accusingly. It was an ugly beast as well, it had a black torso and dark blue legs garnished with several pockets and crude devices I assumed were for causing bodily harm to harmless innocent individuals who were smoking pot or doing their art on a wall instead of canvas. I think they should use those things on people playing with weapons and selling crack to kids, but these creatures aren�t very intelligent and cannot listen to reason. They had black and flesh toned heads and slightly human faces, but I knew they could not be human because they didn�t have any wits or compassion � two essential things to have as a human being. As I was preparing to answer, several beasts of differing sizes, but exactly similar description, approached and began interrogating the dog and myself, asking us ridiculous questions like �What�s in the bag? How old are you? What is your name?� They were not satisfied with our answers so they commanded us to sit on the ground. At this point we became rather irritated with these foolish creatures and decided to use our powers against them, for we could tell these things were pure evil and stupid to boot. We looked at each other and at these creatures and then closed our eyes, took each other�s hands and began to chant the words to set the spell into play: �Boogaboogabooga hey, make these demons go away, boogagoogabooogaboo, make them burn and make them poo.� As we opened our eyes the creatures were on fire and hunched over, clasping what I would assume to be their stomachs, on account of the fact that they all simultaneously lost control of their bowels and began to defecate on themselves profusely. We ran, then walked, then we were home again laughing and enjoying ourselves. flash bang beepbeepbeepbeepbeep the fire alarm oh shit my house wait where is everybody oh damn I live alone there is no dog or fish or overweight cat or mice no string damn that was cool man.

The moral of the story is don�t make toast on acid and fall asleep it is a bad combo.