Raychelle, roaddawgz.org, Nov 06, 2003
�Emperor, would you like your hot cocoa with marshmallows or without?�
1 of 1
�Very well, your Highness.�
Emperor Bush often thinks to himself of how wonderful the world is now that he rules the entire planet. He often thinks about how much he loves marshmallows in his hot cocoa as well. There was that time he choked on one, though. When he thinks about that time, it makes him dislike the marshmallows more than he dislikes democrats.
�Forget the marshmallows! I was kidding. Don�t you know a joke?�
�Sorry your Highness, I was being too literal again. Does the Lord forgive me?�
With the press of a button the servant falls through the floorboards and into a pit of fire.
�That is where sinners belong.� Emperor Bush chuckles to himself. �Do I have to wait all this century to get my hot cocoa without marshmallows?� He says into the speaker next to his desk, a new servant comes in with a hot cocoa, marshmallow free.
�Will that be all, your Highness?�
�Yes,� Emperor Bush says as he takes a sip of his hot cocoa. �And God bless you.�
�Thank you,� the servant says. She then curtsies and leaves the room.
Emperor Bush looks out the window of his castle in the sky. It is one of those neat orbiting castles. Only seven exist in the orbit of his entire planet. Three are his. The other four belong to his largest contributors: Enron, Texas, the Catholic Church, and the retirees of Florida.
He reflects on how magnificent it is to have the entire world under his command. It has been that way for almost 68 years now. He does sometimes feel regretful about taking the entire world though. He feels the world is not eventful enough now that the wars are all over. He enjoys the thought of having intergalactic wars, though. He really can�t wait for those to start. He figures it really won�t take much time to get into a crusade with aliens once he meets them.
Emperor Bush thinks grand thoughts while at his red orbit house.
�1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.�
This Christian propaganda is posted on every wall, everywhere you go.
Lucy Romero does not like this game. She follows all the laws, but she doesn�t feel justified for doing it in the name of God. Lucy has a hard time believing in what she cannot see. She has had a hard time with this ever since her mother convinced her that there were no Muslims under the bed.
�You cannot see them, so how could they be there?� her mother said.
Lucy finds it quite easy to apply this theory to God. It is very illegal to think like this, but Lucy isn�t scared. Many years of conditioning have gotten the phrase �fear only God� imbedded into Lucy�s brain. If she has nothing to fear but God, and she doesn�t think God exists, why should she feel scared of anything?
When Lucy gets home Jacob is already there waiting for her. He is feeling down because his mother has just received her fortieth birthday card from the government. That is the only birthday card the government sends anyone. It is illegal to not open it. It is legal to pay not to get it though. This card helps keep the population in check now that wars aren�t necessary.
Jacob is upset about the loss of his mother. He needs a shoulder to cry on, and Lucy being his girlfriend seems like the perfect person to cry on.
�I wish we had enough money to keep her alive� blubbers Jacob.
�It�s alright darling. This happens to everyone. You can�t avoid your birthday card. Even the rich people eventually die. We need to keep the population down anyway so that we can keep on eating. Your mother would love for us to eat, wouldn�t she?�
�I guess so�� Jacob wasn�t feeling much better, but he was feeling hungry.
�Let�s eat some dinner, sweetheart.�
They go in the kitchen, make ramen noodles, and then eat them with cheese on top, in the living room. They do this without speaking. Their relationship has never been very warm, but it is particularly cold today.
Lucy is seventeen. She is a virgin because she has not yet married. She does not feel that sex should have to wait for marriage. She thinks sex is the most natural thing in the world, and why should it be kept secret if it is natural? She doesn�t want to get married because she does not think Jacob will be a rich enough husband, but she would like to have sex with him because he is the only seventeen year old boy that will get anywhere near such a weird girl as herself.
�Will you have sex with me if I ask you really nicely?�
�Are you proposing to me?�
�No, I just want to see what sex is like�
�Do you realize what the Sex Police would do to you if they knew you just said something that democratic?�
�I don�t care. God is the only one to fear, and I have no fear of him. So why should I fear the Sex Police?�
Jacob puts his ramen down and grabs his coat off the hook on the wall.
�I�d rather be democratic and know what sex is than be a good girl anyway! Why won�t you even think about this with me?�
�Good bye Lucy�
Jacob leaves the apartment. Lucy isn�t sure if he will ever return. She thought she would try asking Jacob about sex when his mind was broken down with the loss of his mother, but that didn�t work out, and now she has no one.
Due to the secret Patriot Acts 3-8, Emperor Bush now has the ability to watch any and every person in the world without them knowing it. They just pop up on his holovision.
As he is channel surfing one day he comes across the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. She is eating in her living room with a boy. The boy looks as if he has been crying. Then the boy starts speaking of the Sex Police and democrats. The word democrat makes Emperor Bush shiver. He is upset that this word still exists. At least it only exists as a curse word now though.
Emperor Bush watches the boy leave the girl�s apartment. He decides it is time to take action. Little girls must be saved by Christianity. Especially the pretty ones.
There is a knock at the door. Lucy runs to open it hoping it will be Jacob. When she opens the door she finds something completely different though. It is a present wrapped in white wrapping paper.
�Maybe it is from Jacob,� Lucy ponders.
She opens the box. Inside is a really cute hat. She puts it on and looks in the mirror. As soon as she does this her vision blurs and she falls to the ground.
When she opens her eyes again she is in a room looking out on the top of the sky. She looks around wondering if she could actually be privileged enough to be in one of the sky castles.
A man walks in through the door. He is wearing the quite recognizable Royal Crown of England, and a royal blue cape. He sits down on the sofa in the middle of the room, and motions to Lucy to sit down in the chair across from him. She is inclined to acquiesce due to the shiny nature of his crown, and she takes a seat.
�Do you believe in God?� questions Emperor Bush.
�And would you ever do anything against God�s teachings?�
�Very well, you shall be returned now that you are fixed.�
�I do not wish to leave such a lovely place though. I feel much closer to God here.�
�That is very nice, but this guest room is only for disobedient children. Here take this as a going away present.� Emperor Bush hands her a necklace.
Lucy takes the necklace and puts it on. As soon as this happens she passes out again. When she wakes up she is naked and alone in the desert with a circle of vultures around her. She thanks God for her health.
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