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my high school drop out experience
cookie s. a., Sep 21, 2005

Cookie S. A. is a woman in transition, living a trans-positive lifestyle seeking higher education and creative endeavors. Here she questions her past and answers herself in this revealing and candid self-reliant interview.

I am a Filipino and Black transsexual who grew up in Seattle, Washington. I came out to my parents 9 years ago (as bisexual initially because of my Catholic upbringing) which resulted with my ass getting kicked out (I haven't been "home" since). So I dropped out of high school because I was like, "How am I going to do homework if I don't even have a home to work in?" I left Seattle a year and four months ago to escape the street kid life upon the prompting of my then-new boyfriend for sunny San Francisco, and had moved off the streets into a transitional living program in the Mission District. And now, after all these years in a constant state of loneliness and isolation, I have started taking GED courses at CCSF John Adams campus in the late spring of this year.

Q: How does it feel to have a stable enough existence to go to school?

Honestly, I feel like a totally different person than that little kid who had stopped going to classes at Ingraham High School. A lot has happened between then and now, both good and bad. I've definitely had to grow up a lot faster than any other kid my age.

Q: How would I have changed telling my parents that I'm a queer? Do I feel they would've reacted any differently if I changed my delivery?

Maybe I could have waited until I was a little older to break the news ("Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm a queer!"). If I had waited until I was eighteen, and living somewhere on my own, I believe it would have been different.

Q: Why were you so alone and isolated?

Because, when I came out to my "parents", they totally rejected me at the age of 14, therefore severing all contact with my younger sister and brother to this day�

Q: What other things that made high school so difficult?

I dropped out when I was a freshman. There were a lot of hazings, older classmates picking on "weird-looking faggot freshmen", and I was one of the kids that unfortunately got duct taped to trees and had sticks and rocks thrown at them�

Q: What made home-life so difficult?

I am the oldest of three siblings, I was born "different" and my parents didn't like it�
My parents favored my little sister, Jamila, the middle sibling, over me and my littlest bro, Mandela. My father would always punish us more severely with belt whoopings, throwing us across rooms, dropping us off miles away from home while timing our walk back and if we didn't make it back in time, we'd get beaten more. Sometimes the bastard even laid hands on my mother, who would end up hitting us too out of frustration.

I honestly felt it was mutual when they kicked me out.

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