List for the Bored
Paul Stukowski, Nov 23, 2005
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Things to do in between spitting on people from a bridge or building.
1 drink dairy to produce more spit
2 scratch yourself
3 contemplate jumping
4 call a talk radio show and discuss the social implications of public tutu wearing
5 calculate point value for each target
6 fantasize about anyone you see wearing white
7 smoke a cigarette and forget which end goes in your mouth
8 teach yourself how to dance
9 decide what irritating trend should be �the next big thing�
10 calculate the rate of decay of various organic compounds while in vacuum when exposed to differing levels of bacteria then compare to test subjects with different levels of atmosphere
11 figure out what equipment would be needed to conduct the needed experiment to prove your numbers from the previous statement
12 determine the moral culpability of the act of spitting on people in respect to several philosophical ideologies
13 work up a loud fart
14 figure out what went wrong with the comic book industry to let Rob Liefeld get work when any moron could train him or herself to draw better without using hands
15 learn how to make string theory work for you
16 devise your own version of a national constitution without giving yourself or someone you know all governmental power, checking to see if your mad plans are at least feasible
17 say, with varying loudness, �vas deferens�
18 alphabetize the contents of your wallet
19 try to determine which word in your native language you find the most disgusting
20 figure out why the British think ice cubes are perverted
21 figure out the time without the help of a clock, watch, sundial, electronic device or someone who has access to such
22 pee in your pants
23 realize that if you pee in your pants just because someone suggested it to you, you probably have self esteem issues that require years of therapy
24 remember laughter
25 realize that if you got the previous reference, at some point in your life you listened to an unhealthy amount of Led Zeppelin, then curse Jimmy Page and Robert Plant for being so damn good
26 try to remember derivatives and what possible use you could have to use them
27 figure out where everything in your life went wrong
28 without looking, try to remember what this list was supposed to be about
29 curse academia
30 spit
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