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Going Home
Gail Goynes,, Sep 24, 2003

I�m still trying to save me from myself. I got promoted at my new job after only being there for about a week and a half. There is a high turnover there, and the boss told me that I seemed the best for the position out of all of the people working there. I catch on fast, and have had quite a bit of prior experience working with coffee and cash machines. The other night I was supervisor for the first time on my own, and the two people I was supervising had both worked there a while longer than me. That was a little strange, I definately feel the vibe of resentment coming off of them, especially the one that I don�t particularly like.

I rented a room in a hotel. It came with a bed, shelves, a lamp, closet, and my own sink. I just came by Roaddawgs today to pick up the stuff that I was storing here. I bought the fridge back for my room. I have already acquired a toaster oven, mirror, and some more shelves. Privacy is the number one benefit of having my new place, even though my whole paycheck goes to rent, it seem to be worth it so far. One of my issues is the walls booming with bass at night from the bar downstairs. That was the one thing the hotel manager neglected to tell me until after I paid rent. The first night I slept there I had to be up at five in the morning and I was woken up at midnight to the walls shaking and bass boom boom booming in my ears. Eventually I fell back to sleep. The bar is a gay techno dance bar with occasional kareoke, so you can imagine the sounds that seep through my building on the weekends.

I have been reading a book that my friend lent to me, "Still Life with Woodpecker". Last night it had me broken down in tears for nearly an hour. I can�t remember the last time I felt like that or cried so hysterically. The part that made me so upset was a fairy tale that the main character read to her lover while he was in jail. It was about a frog that was so genuine that he helped a princess for a promise to be her beloved pet. He honored her request, and then she did not keep her promise. The poor frog ran all the way to her house to get her to keep the promise she had given. Her father made her keep her promise, but the princess treated the frog horribly and abused him by throwing him against the wall. Then he turned into a prince and they fell in love and got married. That part I didn�t understand. I was so hurt over the way she treated the frog. I am still upset just thinking about it now. I think the princess should have been turned into a frog for her actions, then she would be shown that they are not bad creatures at all. Maybe she would learn some manners and not be the most spoiled brat in the world.

I broke my room in the other night with an amazing lover who taught me things about myself that I didn�t even know, and he�s only seventeen. He is a better lover than thirty-year olds that I have been with. I think the fact that I really like and feel comfortable with him had a lot to do with it. The only problem with making love to friends is that I am left wanting more. It is like giving a kid a bag of candy, letting them take a few, and then taking the bag away from them and hiding it.

I wasted seven dollars on a movie the other night. A couple of my friends invited me to go to the movies with them after I got off work, so I thought I would give it a try since I heard good things about it. The movie was terrible, not bad enough to walk out on, but bad. I had to wake up one of my friends after it was over, because she was sitting there snoring in the seat next to me. I am excited about one movie that I know is going to be something I will like. I am going to go to that one with a good friend of mine next week; it is always good to have something to look forward too.
So life seems to be looking up. The mind is a powerful thing. You just have to believe in yourself. Whenever I set my mind to something I do it. I need to set new goals now that I have met most of the ones I have been working on. One of my goals is to become a better writer, so if you read my stories, you will have something worth reading. Practice doesn�t make you perfect, but it tends to help.

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