For a long time I believed that freedom came with the ability to make choices, to do as you wish, whenever you wish. I still believe this basic principal, but now I also believe that freedom does not come without paying dues, and/or consequences. This brings me to "my freedom", or the lack of it, which was the case for too many years.

I am a 26 year old female and for six and a half years I was strung out on heroin. This past year I was clean for six months, (I have been using again for a month). During the six months I was clean, I began to realize just how much my freedom does mean to me and how I will do whatever it takes to get all of that back.

For six years not a day went by that I was not enslaved by my addiction to heroin. Heroin told me when to eat, sleep, s--t, and of course, when to get well. So in that aspect just my basic freedoms were taken from me. I could never go any place, I no longer had the freedom to travel as I always had before. I felt like a prisoner, or more like a slave on a plantation, only my master's hand came in the form of a needle.

It was like being on a beautiful plantation, (the city), around all kinds of unique people, places and things with all sorts of wonderful experiences right at my finger tips -- yet so far out of reach. Like a slave trying to achieve a life for their family, trying to leave, and the master's whip cracking to bring them back to reality. The needle draws me back in much of the same way.

The last six months gave me so many new experiences. I was able to wake up every morning and not have to fix myself (literally) just to function normally. I no longer needed to spend all my days and nights chasing the money to complete the endless cycle I call addiction. I was able to wake up and enjoy the sunrise, and the sunset. I could walk on the beach peacefully without worrying if the time I was spending at the beach was taking away from money. I was able to hang out all night, or just go home and sleep if I chose to.

But mostly I finally felt real freedom -- the freedom to fully express myself the way I felt without question of whether it was right, or wrong, or indifferent. If you're not a slave to someone or something, truly living how you believe can never be wrong. That is the true meaning of freedom, a freedom I have known and will have again. This time I will completely "break free", as they say, and never look back. Because freedom itself is a continuous struggle. One I will gladly fight for.

Editor's Note: Jennifer "Fur" Hopkins was born in Los Angeles in 1974. Since 1993 she lived on the streets of San Francisco where she co-founded the UFO Study, a clinic that tracks and studies the health of I.V. drug users, issues vaccinations for Hepatitis A and B, and tests for Hepatitis C. She died of a drug-induced asthma attack shortly after writing this essay. She was remembered as always willing to do anything for a friend -- and she had many. She will be sorely missed.